Random Ninja Story of Doom
by Jellybeanwolf
Summary: The story of a girl from Getsukagure, stolen by the akatsuki. By shiori-Chan.
1. Chapter 1: Kidnapped

**Chapter One: Kidnapped**

I've been living alone for years in Getsukagure. That's the village hidden under the moon. It isn't mentioned much, but that's because it's typically peaceful here. It in the land of the moon, but that was EXTREMELY obvious. I don't really fit in in getsu. I'm not as calm as I should be. I did make it to chunin level as a ninja, though, so I guess I'm not too bad. Anyways, I've been living in a nearly abandoned apartment since I was 7. This is because all of my relatives were dead, and my last relative, my great aunt, had just died. Death seems to follow me. My name is Youko Banshun. My first name means sunshine, or light, and my last name means late spring. I'm about 17 years old with shoulder length mud brown hair, which is usually kept up in a ponytail. I also have violet eyes. Which, in my mind, clashes with the muddy hair. I'm getting off subject, aren't I? Well, it's a habit. So, where was I….oh, yeah. My relatives are dead, I'm living alone, had to get a job at 7, blah blah blah. So, it's been about 10 years, and I'm living in an apartment, not earning much from missions, and never going out to eat, even though my stove can't cook burnt toast. Yes, I know you can't cook burnt toast anyhow, but it was a good metaphor. Off subject again, right? I told you this was going to happen.

So I've just gotten home from a mission, an A-rank one, mind you, and I was pretty damn tired. So it didn't help at all when after I checked the fridge (empty, as usual) someone leaped out at me and I was bound and gagged. Which wasn't very fun, and I didn't fight back because of the tiredness, and the fact that there was chloroform on the rag they used to knock me out before they gagged me. I was confused to why this was happening; I wasn't anyone special, just your average jonin, not to mention a misfit one, at that. I wasn't anyone they could take hostage and expect a ransom for. I definitely wouldn't be missed. So I was confused. But I didn't have much time to be confused, because the chloroform kicked in, and I was out like a light.

I slipped in to consciousness when I was being slung across a shoulder, but it didn't last long. I really didn't wake up until several hours after I was dumped on the hard floor of a cave.

When I woke up, I expected to be in my bed and the shoulder thingy to be a hallucination. Boy was I wrong. I woke up on a cold, hard, possibly moldy cave floor. When the two figures guarding me saw me start to wake up, though, I got more chloroform. I was knocked out for a couple more hours, and didn't notice when I was moved to a nice room down the stairs from the cave. When I woke up this time, I knew it wasn't a dream. There also wasn't anyone guarding me this time. So I was alone. I should be used to it, but I hate being alone. At least when I was at home, I could look at pictures, or go outside and talk to someone. And loneliness is even worse when you're kind of numb, half asleep, and confused. But I didn't have to wait long for someone to come in. Or should I say, some figure. The figure just darted in with some food, saw that I was waking up, set the food down, and rushed out. I stared at the pancakes and bacon like it was solid gold. I hadn't eaten food since what felt like the day before. Unless the figures had been spoon-feeding me or something while I was out of it. Well, anyway, it was very nice of them to bring their captive such great food!

I ate the food in seconds, due to the fact that I was ravished. When another figure came to take my dishes, I said thanks, and they seemed surprised. Then I heard them chuckle. "Well, you're the politest captive we've ever had, I think, un." said the figure. I think I blushed. Which was kind of strange, because that might not have been a compliment. But, I was used to making insults into compliments. And it WAS a nice thing to say. With that and the food, it came to mind that they were the politest kidnappers ever! I told the figure that, and he laughed again, slightly louder than before. The figure apparently thought I was funny. I had only one thing to say, "Hey, Mr. Figure-mc-Bob, can you step out of the shadows and tell me your name, because calling you THE FIGURE is getting troublesome to think." That comment was another thing that I just blurted out, and it also was found amusing. He stepped out of the shadows and revealed himself to be an androgynous teenager with long blond hair. Most of it was kept in a ponytail, but some bangs fell over one of his eyes, while the other was a nice-ish blue color. He said his name was Deidara. "Well, that's a nice name! Much better than THAT FIGURE GUY." He actually clamped his hand over his moth this time to stop the giggling, but it was strange because he did it with the palm facing me. And on his palm was a hand. I stared at it while he was laughing. I think I remembered this guy from one of those notices. Wasn't he an Akatsuki member or something? Well, I couldn't remember, so I just sat there. "Hey, Is there anyone else here, or just you, Dei-kun?"I asked. "At the moment, it's only me and Sasori-no-Danna, un" he replied. "Ooh, who's THAT?" "My Akatsuki partner, un. He's the one sitting over there in the corner not helping me take care of the captive. Say hi Danna, un!" "No, brat." came a voice from the corner. I looked over and saw some guy sitting in an extremely realistic puppet. I could tell it wasn't him because of the bulk and texture. I'm really good at recognizing puppets, because I worked in a workshop as one of my jobs. "Hey, Sasori-no-Danna, why are you in a puppet? Can I see what you look like, too?" I asked. He seemed surprised for a moment that I'd seen through his disguise. Then he regained his cool. "No." he was extremely blatant about it. So I asked Dei-kun, "Can YOU get him to come out? I really do want to see my captors. I don't hold grudges; I just want to get to know you better." "Nah, I don't think he'll come out, un." Dei replied. "Hmm. Can you do something so I can try to get him out; I'm pretty good at that stuff." "Sure, I can do a different binding, un. But I don't think you'll be able to get him out." He did something to my handcuffs, and I walked up to the puppet. I studied it. Scorpion tail, hidden weapons, a couple of basic death traps. Seemed easy. I walked up and hugged the puppet at the pressure point, and the bindings were released. And inside of the puppet there was an extremely beautiful teenage boy puppet. I was confused because there didn't seem to be a puppet master, just another realistic puppet. But then the puppet turned its head and gave me an annoyed look. ON ITS OWN. Then it started talking. "How the hell did you get through my defenses that easily?" He was still pretty calm looking. Heavy lidded brown eyes, nice, slightly messy, red hair. A mouth curved into something almost resembling a frown, but still pretty straight. I just gawked at his question. He looked annoyed and turned away, starting to fiddle with a spare arm.

Soon after 'Sori-no-Danna turned away, I started to chat with Dei-Kun. The conversation went kind of like this;

"Hey, Dei-kun?"

"What, un?"

"Do you like toast?"

"Sure, un."

"What kind of toast do you like?"

"Uhhhh, rye, un?"

"Hmmm. I like cinnamon raisin swirl!"

"Oh, that sounds good, un! Where do you get it?"

"Oh, well, in getsu, y'kow the place you kidnapped me from, there's a grocery store called **Moon Market of Getsu, **and it sells all sorts of stuff! There's also a bakery downtown, but it's extremely expensive."

"Really? Hmm, I should ask leader-Sama if we can get some, un.'

"Who's leader-Sama?"

"Oh, he's the leader, un!"

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious."

"Well, I don't really know much. He doesn't visit too much, un.

"Hey, what's 'Sori-Danna do?"

"Aw, he's a puppet master, un. He thinks those lifeless dolls are art."

"Really? They're extremely realistic. And It could be art, I guess."

"NO! ART LASTS ONLY A SECOND! ART…IS A BANG!!!!!!"

There then proceeded to be a series of explosions heard outside the door. I wondered if he'd rigged up sound effects. Then I saw him take some clay out of his pouch, feed it to his hand, have the hand hack it up into the shape of a bird, then blow it up with some kind of jutsu. I guess when he said bang, he really meant it. His words and actions really seemed to tick off Sasori-no-Danna, and freaked me out. He walked over to me and whispered, "He really is a fool. Art is eternal, meant to last forever, never fading or dying. Like my puppets. They'll be around much longer than he will." No offenses meant to Dei-kun, but Danna's argument made sense. "You're right. The best kind of art sticks around for hundreds of years after you die. But his art is interesting, too. Very fragile, but extremely powerful as well. But your art seems stronger, more durable, Danna." I really was just happy that he said ANYTHING to me. Before this he was just ignoring me. "Hey, what's your name, anyway? Leader-Sama only gave us a description." OMFG! More words! "Uh, my name's Youko Banshun." I replied. "Nice name" he commented. For awhile after that, we just sat and watched Dei's firework frenzy, sitting together as friends.

_**Review and Stuff! –Shiori**_


	2. Chapter 2: Meetings

**Chapter 2: Meetings**

**Disclaimer: I don't expect to own Naruto anytime soon, so don't sue me!**

**Sorry, for the short chapter, not much time to write....anyway, thanks to Echo Uchiha for their review! I totally spazzed out when I saw it.**

After Deidara got tired and left for bed, Sasori-Danna helped me set up mine. It was a cot with a mattress and some blankets on it. There was also one of those really mushed together pillows, my favorite. It was pretty easy to set up, and I was sad when Danna said he had to leave. But he could tell I was tired, and that, if he didn't leave, I'd never get any sleep, which was true. I looked around the room again, and saw my backpack in the corner. I took out my diary and started writing.

A couple hours later, Youko had fallen asleep writing. Sasori-Danna came in the check on her, and saw her passed out on the floor with a book in her hands. He knew he shouldn't pry, but he just had to take a peek. He picked up a book, and flipped to the last entry.

Friday, June 10th

Today was probably the most interesting day of my life! I got kidnapped and taken to a cave by strange men! They say they're in an organization called the Akatsuki. There's one named Deidara, but I call him Dei-kun. He has long blond hair that he keeps in a ponytail, with bangs covering one of his eyes. The other eye is blue. He's kind of feminine looking and wears too much eyeliner for a guy.

Sasori laughed at that, then read on.

He also has hands on his mouths. It's kind of creepy, and he used them to chew clay, then blow it up. The other guy that kidnapped me was Sasori-no-Danna, but I call him 'Sori-Danna.

Sasori stopped reading there. He didn't really want to get into trouble. She would tell him what she thought of him, right? He put the book down where it had originally been, and walked over to check on Youko. When she showed to be fine, he left.

Youko woke up feeling fresh and light, to see two new pairs of eyes staring at her. Some pure black eyes and the eyes of a shark. She immediately stumbled back. After all, she wasn't expecting these new people. But when she saw Sasori-no-Danna walking up, she relaxed, and took a better look at the new people. "Hi! My name is Youko Banshun, what's your name?" she chirped. "Youko, this is Itachi and Kisame. I'm answering for them because Itachi wouldn't answer anyway, and Kisame would say something either stupid or threatening." "Thanks, Danna. Hi Itachi, hi Kisame! Glad to meet you!" "Well, isn't SHE chipper" said the blue guy, the one with the shark eyes named Kisame. "Yeah, she's well adapted to being a hostage, un" Deidara said from the corner where he was standing to avoid Itachi. "Hn." was all that the Itatchi guy said. "Does he ever talk?" I said, pointing to Itachi. "No, he hardly ever talks to us, because he thinks he's better. So much better that he can't even greet our hostage, un." replied Dei-kun. "Hi, Youko. Happy?" came a smooth voice from the direction of Itachi. Everyone else looked over at him, apparently surprised that he had spoken something other than 'hn'. "Yes, I'm quite happy that you said hello" I said. He looked over at me with one eyebrow raised, an expressionless expression on his face. That sentence made no sense. Heeeyyyyyy, both sentence and sense start with sen! Wait, what was I talking about? A cold voice snapped me out of my confusion. "I'm leaving." Then Itachi turned and left, with fishy boy on his heels. "Are they together or something?" I whispered to Deidara. He burst out laughing. He sure laughs a lot.

Later, I was given food. Some rice, salmon, sauce, and tea. Probably the best food I'd eaten in ages. This was because on my meager salary, all I could typically afford was the rice, and fruits and vegetables if I was lucky. Tea was for special occasions, and salmon was out of the question. So, being a hostage was treating me better than before I was taken. Which reminded me, why did they take me again? I decided to ask Deidara. "We took you because the boss said you would be useful. That's all I know, un." That wasn't very helpful. I kept thinking that he was trying to drop me some kind of clue by the look in his eyes. If they wanted Getsu secrets, they could find a much more skilled ninja then me, so I didn't see why they would take me. Interesting thing to think about, your kidnapper's for kidnapping you. It kept me occupied long enough to not notice Deidara and Sasori consecutively slipping out of the room. When I finally looked up, I was alone again. I sighed and wondered when I'd get moved to an actual room, and how long it would be until I saw my captives, my only friends in this place, again.

_**Remember to review and favorite! Constructional critisism is always admired!**_


	3. Chapter 3: Outside

**Chapter 3: Outside**

**Disclaimer: You Should Know by now that I don't own Naruto. And If you didn't get that, please see an optomertist to get your eyes checked.**

**Anyway, thanks to Echo Uchiha for reviewing. I tried to add slightly more humor, and I am loading chapter 4 with it. I hope. Anyway, on with RNSoD!**

I had fallen asleep after breakfast, and no one woke me up, so I slept until the next morning. I guess the chloroform hadn't worn off completely. I awoke feeling extremely light headed. It took me a second or two to remember that I was held hostage. It was so nice here, when they weren't avoiding me. And since nobody was in the room when I woke up, I guess I didn't need to be under surveillance anymore. That was boring, and I wished I had someone to talk to. At about noon, Deidara and Sasori came in to give me lunch, accompanied by a guy with white hair and pink eyes (which made him look albino), and another guy wearing a mask with stitches all over his body. Deidara introduced the albino as Hidan and Stitchy as Kakazu. I assumed they just came to see if I was really there, because they left immediately. Lunch was chicken, vegetables, and more tea. 'Sori-Danna and Dei-Kun stayed, thankfully, and I began to talk to them. "So you have no Idea why Leader-Sama wanted you to kidnap me?" "No, un. Like I said, he didn't give us many details, just a picture." "Are you sure I can't have been confused with anyone else?" "No, the picture was really clear, un. Besides, we were given your address, and I think that apartment was yours." I couldn't deny that. If they were given an address and a good description, there was no chance they could have gotten the person wrong. So I decided to go to another subject. "Hey, Dei-Kun, am I gonna get moved soon? Or can I at least be let out of the room? I haven't seen sunlight in days, and when I do, I'll probably start screaming 'IT BURNS IT BURNS!!!!!!'" "Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyy. We'll let you out. I want to see you burn like toast, un." "Cinnamon raisin?" "Sure, un. Cinnamon raisin." And with that I was led outside by my captors.

I hadn't ever seen the outside of the base, because I was knocked out when I was brought in, but it was amazing! We walked out of a big cave, and there was a river right outside! I love water on account of its shininess and fluidity. So, obviously, I walked over and stuck my whole head in. When I came up for air, I met the confused looks of both 'Sori-Danna and Dei-Kun. I stared right back and soon they dropped their gazes. "Don't mess with the 5 time staring contest champion of Getsu!" I shouted. "Don't be so loud! We don't want to attract enemies to the base!" scolded Danna. "Sorry," I replied "I'm not used to imminent danger if I shout that I'm awesome. Typically I only have to look out for jabs and jeers. Man, those ANBU were sore losers." I realized that I was talking to myself halfway through, but what I didn't realize was that they didn't realize. That didn't make any sense, and used the word realize a lot, but I'm assuming you get what I mean. I still kept talking. The only person who was able to beat me at a staring contest was that boy with no eyelids……" I stopped to think about Jimmmy, the kid with no eyelids, and I was interrupted by a small cough from Dei-Kun. "Um, sorry to interrupt your extremely interesting conversation with yourself, but I wanted to ask if you liked the outside, un. And why you're not burning up like Itachi's attempts at baking." I giggled. "Is re really that bad of a baker?" "Yeah, un. And he baked a lot, to get his sugar fix. It often fails, and we have to go buy him dango. I actually think that's his scheme, un. Anyway, it really freaks out Kakazu. He's the treasurer and a scrooge. He goes ballistic when Itachi wastes good baking supplies, and then makes us buy more stuff, un." "Oh, I wouldn't want to be around when stitchy goes ballistic. He looks formidable when calm!" "You call him stitchy, un?" "Yeah, and I call his friend the albino." Through Dei-kun's laughing fit, I heard a snort out of 'Sori-Danna. This was the first time I had ever seen him even kind of laugh. Another surprise from him. I went across the river to the forest to check out the trees, and I was immediately pulled back. It was 'Sori-Danna. "Even though we let you outside, you're still a prisoner. We can't let you out of our sights, Youko." And With that, I was pulled back across the river to the base, where an out of breath Deidara was waiting. I was led again back into the cold, dark cave that was now my home, it seemed.

As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I said, "You need better lighting in here! You can't see a thing!" "The dim light is so that enemies can't find us" Danna explained. "Well, at least you have good lighting downstairs. It looks like a frisking hospital with all the white paint and bright lights!" I saw 'Sori-Danna smirk. Then, without another word, I was moved back into my room. When the lights were turned off, I heard them whispering about extra precautions. After awhile, I tuned out due to the drastic measures I was hearing. I bet they did it all for show, but the notion still scared me. After a long period of arguing with the voices in my head about who to trust, I settled down for another long night. Pretty soon the voices started arguing about toe fungus, anime cons, and zombie muffins, their loud, angry voices lulling me into a gentle sleep.

_**Remember to review, because it makes me happy and gives me something to live for! I also accept constructive critisism, because it helps, I think. Sorry that the chapter was short, I tried for 1,000 words, but didn't get there yet. Luv, Shiori. And for those people who read our other Fanfic, no we did not quit it, it's just Sarah's turn to write, and she's procrastinating. I'll try to work on it this weekend.**_


	4. Chapter 4, Dreams

**Chapter 4: Dreams**

**Disclaimer: This just so happens to be a disclaimer. I own nothing famous. Don't sue me for that.**

**I updated early. This is because I wanted to. Thanks to Mary-Songangel for favoriting. No reviews last time! T.T I expected better. Anyway, on with fanfic.**

Youko's P.O.V:

I was sitting in a meadow with my friends (that is to say, 'Sori-Danna, Dei-Kun, and toast) sipping raspberry cordial when a purple cow burst from the bottom of the hill and screamed "YOU NEED TO CHOOSE!" It chased me all the way to pumpkin land, where they were holding a festival. I cowered behind one of the villagers, only to have them melt into hot fudge right in front of me. "I have the power to decide on my own!" I screamed, not even knowing what I was talking about. "Then DECIDE!" screamed the beast. I saw the cow heading closer and closer, and I pulled my toothpick version of the Eiffel tower out of my pocket to ward it off. The tower was snatched out of my hands and the cow lunged. Next, all I remember is a voice whispering, "You're gonna be fine, kid. You can decide."

I woke up screaming bloody murder into my pillow. I was glad that it was my pillow because I didn't want to wake up my friends. Toast is an extremely light sleeper, I may add. I also realized that I had fallen of an actual BED after screaming. I looked around. When the hell had I gotten moved into this spacious room? I thought I was sleeping in some kind of back room before. I shrugged it off and fell back asleep. My next dream was that I was on a highway built like a skate ramp. All through the ride I was spouting cheesy love lines to a carrot.

Sasori's P.O.V:

I was cleaning my private puppet stash when Leader's hologram appeared next to me, making me jump. I know that S-class ninjas are supposed to be prepared for everything, but that guy just scares me. His eyes are memorizing. Anyway, he told me to stop polishing my damn victims, he needed to say something. "Sasori, we're moving Youko. We've destroyed any trace of her existence and the village now thinks she's dead. Move her to the spare room and give her the supplies. And slash her headband while you're at it. She's now a member. Tell her when she gets up." "Yes, Leader-Sama." "Good, now go. She should be asleep." The image of our leader disappeared and I was left to go get the girl to her room. As silently as any S-class ninja would be, of course. With the exceptions of the loudmouth heathens like Hidan. I snuck into the spare holding cell like fog, or some other kind of light gas. For a second, she looked like she was stirring. Then I realized she was dead asleep and just having a dream. Then she sat up and yelled 'I have the power to decide on my own!' in her sleep. Since this freaked me out, I transferred her into the spare room as fast as I could. After I set her down on the large bed, I whispered, "You're gonna be fine, kid. You can decide." And left without another thought. After all, I had puppets to polish until morning.

Deidara's P.O.V

The start of my dream was a dream I frequently had. I was flying on one of my creations far above the clouds. Then suddenly a figure was sitting next to me. "We sure are high up." She commented. The figure was none other than Youko Banshun, our captive. I stared at her and she stared back. "Y'know, I could get used to flying like this. High above the clouds, no worries. I always dreamed of flying back in getsu. And, hey, how did I get here anyway? One minute I was talking to a carrot, and the next I'm with you! Is this your dream or my dream, anyway?" "I-I think it's mine." I stammered. I'd never had anyone walk into my dreams before. I thought dreams were private things. "Anyway, the last time I woke up, I was in a new room. Do you have any idea why I might have been moved?" she inquired. "No. I've been asleep this whole time", I replied. "Huh. Well, I'd probably better leave. Now if I can jus-" she was cut off by her body suddenly being torn from my time space continuum and back into hers. I had the sense to pinch myself, and realized that I was dreaming. And when she left, a poem was recited in my ear;

_Life is like cherry blossoms, fleeting, but always coming back again. Hold onto your cherry blossom too long, and it will die. But even when it dies, a cherry blossom is still beautiful. Cherish the cherry blossom called life. Don't let it escape. Because when your cherry blossom dies, another will fall and weep, but also start the cycle again._

This moved me to tears in my sleep. And then all was dark again, and I was back in my world of flight.

Youko's P.O.V:

In the morning, I had a sense of forgetfulness. I thought I'd had a dream with Dei-Kun in it, but it was probably just a figment of my imagination. But what WASN'T part of my imagination was the room I was in. I was RIGHT! I HAD been moved! The room had cream colored walls and multiple windows, all with beautiful lilac drapes. I was in a canopy bed, with a lilac gauze around it. My dresser was mocha brown and was stocked with red cloud print cloaks, black t-shirts, long sleeve fishnet undershirts, and a fancy black kimono. There was a mirror with intricate swirl designs above the dresser, and a door leading probably to a bathroom in the corner. My heart soared; yet another thing better that life in Getsu! I wondered if there was breakfast to be had, and ventured out another door in the middle of the wall. It was the color of chocolate egg cream, and had vine patterns all across it. I stepped through the doorway, looked down a long hallway, and started to walk.

_**This chapter is also known as: One reason for accepting Youko into the Akatsuki! If you didn't find the reason, play 'where's a cool ninja skill' and come back. If you are really a baka, the answer is dreamwalking. Anyway, review and favorite. Reviews with constructive criticism are extremely important. –Shiori-Chan And sorry for the not much humor. I tried, and I wish I could do better.**_


	5. Chapter 5, Breakfast

**Chapter 5, Breakfast**

**Disclaimer: I won't own Naruto until Kishimoto hands it over. But, until then, I own several pairs of yoga pants.**

**Sorry this took so long. I don't like publishing until I have the title of the next chapter, but I have writers block, so don't expect it too soon. Sorry.**

After a long (6.27 second) deliberation, I chose to go down the left hallway, because I'm left handed. After walking for 2 minutes, I saw a series of multicolored doors. One was cream, with an engraving of a bird on it. One was black with an engraving of a sharingan eye, painted red. One was chocolate colored, with a human figure on it. Another was blue, and had an engraving of a menacing looking mummy sword. Yet another was green with a Venus flytrap. One was orange with a variety of black swirls, and the last two were brown, one with a money symbol and one with a triangle in a circle on it. There were 2 large sets of double doors at the end of the hall. One was engraved with a flower and a rinnengan eye, and the other was a plain, dark, but still unnoticeable brown. I tried that door. And lo and behold, it was the kitchen! This is my favorite place, and immediately, I began to make toast. I apparently have a toast obsession, as with all the toast references, but some people are addicted to crap that will kill them faster, so don't judge. And these people had a magnificent toaster! It was hard to resist a toaster that you could see through to tell if it was done, along with a flavor selector that could turn normal toast into any other kind of toast!!!!!! You would make toast, too, if you weren't just using the fridge, like any lazy Shikamaru would do. This saying was something we made up in Getsu, after the lazy Konaha shinobi fell asleep next to a vat of deadly moon honey. Moon honey is a poison we use in our food. Most people in getsu have an immunity to it, and therefore, use the sweet stuff in food. But the fumes of this honey are still deadly poisonous, and could only be taken away by baking. This is why it was used, for the most part, in cakes. But the Shikamaru kid fell asleep next to the honey, and it took 5 medical Nins to get him even halfway back from comatose! But aside from that thrilling story, I was talking about the kitchen. About halfway through buttering my toast, 'Sori-Danna walked in. Even though he's a puppet, apparently, he left his stomach in, and could digest food. I did believe he could make it stop functioning when he wants, though, because it would be the most convenient, and I had never seen him eat before. This talk was brought on by 'Sori-Danna consuming 8 pieces of leftover French toast, which he kindly shared. Meaning that I stole some when he wasn't looking. He also had his share of fruits, veggies, and proteins. A well balanced diet, if I can say so. He looked up for the first time after finishing his meal and said,

"Morning, Youko."

"Morning, Sasori-no-Danna!"

"You're chipper."

"I ate a good breakfast. And I got moved to a new room!"

"Interesting." This last part, said by Danna, contained only very little interest, despite his words. I wasn't in the mood to be swayed by un-interest, so I kept talking.

"It's really is nice. I wonder how I got there...do YOU know?"

"Yes. Leader-Sama told me to move you last night. You're now an official part of the Akatsuki." I just gawked for a moment, then went back to my toast.

"Mdjfbsgsl? Rjblhgsdjknl!!!! Uvfblgsg." The last line sounded like this because my mouth was full of toast, and I didn't want to open it and give my friend a mouthful of chewed toast. Instead, I let him decipher my carefully coded message.

"What the hell does that mean?" Okay, so maybe not so carefully coded. So I swallowed, and proceeded to say,

"OMFG I'M SO EFFING HAPPY! Thanks for letting me join! Who am I partnering with?"

"You're sticking with me and Deidara for now, because we captured you."

"Ok!" The rest of the hour was spent eating and discussing the weather on the moon. I thought it would be rainy, but 'Sori-Danna thought that it would snow.

"It's too cold for rain!"

"It's too hot for snow!"

"The rain would erode away the surface!"

"Touché" The next moment, Dei-kun and the albino came through the door, hands at each other's throats.

"GET OFF ME YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!" That came from the albino, or Hidan, who obviously wasn't happy. Now, I would love to narrate, but to save your eyes from having to read thirty-seven lines of straight swearing coming from both sides, I won't. Instead, imagine them evening out their differences at a tea party while wearing frilly dresses. And if that's too hard, tough luck. Anyway, after breakfast, I asked if I could use an area to train.

"It's down the hall and to the left, un. But there's also one outside by the pond." said the blond. I figured that I'd use the one outside, because it's more picturesque. And picturesque things are much more fun to look at when beating someone to a bloody pulp than, say, some piece of dirt in the lowlands. Usually battles take place in the most grotesque places! No flowers, trees, or even a pretty rock to be seen! I enjoy battles to be in places where there is beauty. Not only does this make watching on better, but it distracts you from the gore! Because who wants to look at THAT during a battle? Anyway, as I went out to train, I realized that the point of having an outdoor training area was not for looks, but for practicality. The second I stepped outside, I was almost assassinated by an extremely pungent explosion. And WHO did explosions? None other than Dei-kun. Also outside was Sasori-no-Danna with his more bulky puppets, fishy and Itachi sparring, and a kid in an orange mask with a swirl on it. He was in the process of teleporting onto a tree about five meters away. It took me a second to take it in before I started to walk up to the grounds.

_**Sorry to stop here. I'll try harder next time. I wrote it this way to be easier to read. If you like it better this way, review. Heck, just review anyway!**_


	6. Chapter 6, Writers Block!

**Chapter 6, What I wrote with writer's block.**

**Yes, I know I can't write with writers block, so please excuse the bad quality. This is to compensate for not updating for awhile. I've been busy with school and stuff. Don't expect more for awhile.**

**Dislaimer: I don't own anything remotely famos. (Yet.)**

**Youko's P.O.V:**

The grounds had everything a ninja could want. Training dummies, weapons racks, whole simulative villages to wipe out, and I was in paradise. Of course, I have never had the need to wipe out a village before, but you can always learn. I got started on the training dummies, and five minutes later, the dummy had given me many injuries, and it was untouched. If you're wondering how this is possible, I believe that you'll have to get your explanation elsewhere. Back to the story. The training dummy, although fierce, was vanquished with force and determination! Okay, so I guess flamethrowers aren't either of those, but that thing HATED me! I bet that it was going to murder me in my sleep. Anyways, after the dummy was finished, I set on another with a katana of the finest kind, and it split like butter. I was getting the knack of it! Soon, I had wiped out a village of unsuspecting training dummies, getting praise from all of the voices in my head. Except from Phil. He's a spoilsport. But enough about Phil. When I was through with those dummies, it was time to pack up. All of the other Akatsuki members had left, leaving me to fend on my own with those hostile training dummies. But, since I survived, I felt like rewarding myself to dinner.

After annoying everyone by humming 'Don't Stop Believing' for 57/675 of dinner, everyone pretty much got sick of me and left. I had a peaceful dinner mostly alone. 'Sori-Danna plugged his ears, Zetsu didn't care, and Tobi was singing right along with me. Although, his lyrics had a lot to do with candy and chickens. My dinner was consisted of bread, carrots, a banana, and about 7 bowls of cereal. What? I just so happen to like cereal. At least I didn't eat Zetsu's cereal; Meaty People Flakies. I tried one flake, but it tasted like gym socks dipped in rancid butter, then fried. Actually, that's starting to sound good…..anyway, after a hearty dinner, I went to the living room to watch soap operas with the rest of the so-called S-class criminal Nins. I myself prefer a good movie where everyone, plus about a bazillion random extras, die. Like when there's a zombie pandemic, or end of the world scenarios, or even boring bombs. So I just sat as the opening credits rolled……

**The Wizard of Narutoland.**

**The camera pans in on a small, blond boy, with weirdo whiskers on his face. He is sitting on a tree stump while older ninjas whisper behind his back. **

"**Does that kid have fricking whiskers on his face?" The silence is ruptured, and the air is filled with annoying whispering that a weird fox kid wouldn't be able to think over. As the boy gets up and walks back to his house, he mutters, **

"**Kids these days." With that, he walks back into his apartment, which seems to be overflowing with Sakura and Sasuke plushies. Wait, WHAT?**

"**I'm doing this for my friend, who apparently REALLY LIKES YAOI COUPLES! HAPPY? Sorry, honorable narrator, it isn't your fault that people like yaoi." That's what I thought. But seriously, that many plushies is weird. So, anyway, as the fox kid goes to sleep that night, he wishes that he was in a place where people wouldn't make fun of him. But he should be careful what he wishes for…..**

**That night, Naruto feels a slight vibration while going to sleep.**

"**It was a good idea to buy that massage bed. Wait, I didn't buy a massage bed!" When the dork looked out the window, his apartment was being carried through the air by a tornado! And Sasuke was riding past on a moped, so as to not get sued! Naruto rushed to the corner and huddled up in a ball, so as to not get hid by flying debris. When he opened his eyes again, everything was still. He rushed to the door and flung it open to find a whole new landscape. The grass was green, the people were short, and worst of all, there were no ramen shops! One of the little people rushed up to him. **

"**You killed the wicked witch of writers block!" she screamed, pointing to a figure under the house. It was wearing rainbow, yoga pants, and an oversized t-shirt that looked to say 'I'm Sorry' on it. After a monotonous song and dance routine, the boy is set off to find the purple brick highway. Along the way, he meets the Cowardly Kakashi, who, after losing his Icha-Icha book had a complete mental breakdown. Five minutes later, he meets The Tin Gaara, who needs to get a new 'love' tattoo. Next, he meets Rock Scarecrow Lee, who needs a brain. They all decide to go see the Wizard of Narutoland, so the plot can go on. **

**After many filler conversations and a flying shadow clone or two, the crew meets the wizard, who turns out to be Jiraiya. He tells them to go fetch him the cloak of the other witch, or should I say witches. This proceeds to pan out to a picture of the Akatsuki in dresses and pointy witch hats under their normal cloaks.**

I actually burst out laughing when I saw this picture, and I heard Dei-kun whisper, "That was an extremely embarrassing Halloween party."

**The gang sets out to get those cloaks, when Naruto is captured by the Akatsuki. Pein chuckles, **

"**I got you, my ugly, and your little Kyubi, too!" After an intense fighting scene, Pein-Sama melts, and the Akatsuki is free of his control. **

"**Thanks, Kyubi brat." And after those chilling parting words, Naruto sets after the wizard. **

"**HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HOME!" **

"**You have to wait until after my rant. Anyway, I'm not a real wizard and blah blah blah. You get home by clicking your shoes together. Bye."**

**And so Naruto goes home to his plushies, mentally scarred. THE END.**

That had been the best movie I had ever seen.

"LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!" I said.

"NO!" was the all over reply. With the only variations containing 'un' and various swearwords. And so I set off to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, by the looks of it.

_**Please review, as it will take away some of the writers block!**_


	7. Ahem

**Ahem…..**

It has come to my attention that I am a no-good lay about, and so I am taking a creative hiatus, meaning I won't be able to work on any of my stuff for awhile. Sorry for any inconveniences. I may be gone from a month to half a year, depending on who will complain in my ear long enough for me to do anything. If I write anything, I'll post it, but don't expect anything from _Random Ninja Story of Doom _of my side of _The Adventures of the New Akatsuki_ for awhile. I just want to say sorry one again. I hope you can enjoy something that doesn't suck as much as my stuff while I'm gone. Thanks.

Sincerely, **Shiori-Chan**

**THIS WILL BE DELETED WHEN A NEW STORY SHOWS UP**


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